Li'l Bit a Kuntry

Like my husband says, there is Willie, then there's everybody else.

;)

Sit Down, I Have Something to Tell You

http://www.authorsden.com/phyllisjeangreen

Trees scream
when bulldozers plow into them. See my poem, "Hardwoods to be Executed, Sorry for Inconvenience."

More and more people are screaming
in silence. . .or not. . .and it is all John Barleycorn's
fault.
See my poem, "From the Horse's Mouth."

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Soon-to-be-Famous Quotes: "Happy" is easy. Pick up your cell phone or sit down at your PC and order it now. It is possible for a sane and intelligent person to happy every minute. If s-he isn't, something is seriously wrong. Routes to "Happy" include plastic surgery, liposuction, body-building, drugs and other controlled and-or uncontrolled substances, blue chip stocks, multiple houses, cars, mates, boats, planes, collectibles, a huge and ever-changing wardrobe, lying, stealing, posing in Playboy a n d Playgirl, going on talk shows, trashing friends, churning out phony resumes for self and-or others, robbing, hiring hit people, and who-know-s-what-all, but it is The Goal. Anything less is UnAmerican. Just ask your friendly neighborhood advertising agency.
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God in [Her] wisdom invented the fly ............... ..................................... then forgot to tell us why.
Ogden Nash

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Take a Number

Take any number and multiply it by the number of times you forgot to review the driver's manual before going to get your license renewed. Multiply the result by 1,000, and write down the answer on a slip of paper. Tuck the slip behind your driver's license. Go to the nearest driver's license renewal center, or whatever they call it. Go inside. Pull out your driver's license. Wait. You left it at home. Assume the expression of a person who has forgotten an urgent appointment, then hightail it home and get the damned thing.
(Hightail is not to be taken to mean speed; you don't have your driver's license with you, dummy.) Return to the testing site. Go in and have a seat. . .whoops. All the chairs are filled.
Stand wherever you are told to stand and take out your license so you will have it ready. Slip the paper out from behind it that has the number you wrote. Notice that the number is the same as the number of idiots who all showed up at the same time.
End of exercise.